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ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

kevinkinky-:

fucknobarackobama:

kevinkinky-:

Republicans are scary but republicans under the age of 20 are even scarier

Yeah liberals are terrified of educated youth

did your dad tell you that

I’m sleepy and I wish I was kissing you.

(Source: xborntolose)

elfauno:

Finally, some good advice from Cosmo

elfauno:

Finally, some good advice from Cosmo

What if real life is like Lost and we all just slowly discover that we’ve been “dead” all along?

me:damn i need to save my money
me:*spends $200 in a week*

islandofmisfitposts:

islandofmisfitposts:

islandofmisfitposts:

Excuse me but are you made of arsenic and sulfur because I want that AsS

I feel like this post would be more effective if you saw just how attractive my chemistry teacher’s ass is though

image

I think it’s effective now.

taviatastic:

Oh my god, I’m internet famous! My tattoo has a bunch of notes on We Heart It!

taviatastic:

Oh my god, I’m internet famous! My tattoo has a bunch of notes on We Heart It!

hotboysofficial:

how to subtly approach your crush

image

killing-the-headlamps:

Sorry I was speeding, officer. I was listening to Mumford and Sons and the banjo solo came on.

bewilden:

fileformat:

how are these people not dead

Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die

bewilden:

fileformat:

how are these people not dead

Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
The location of common roomsGryffindor:Tower! The highest fucking tower, fuck yeah! TOWER!
Hufflepuff:But don't you think that's a bit far away from everything, they'll have to climb dozens of stairs every day...
Gryffindor:TOWER!
Hufflepuff:Oh, for the love of...
Slytherin:I'm going for under the lake, LIKE A SUPER-SECRET LAIR!
Hufflepuff:But Salazar, won't that be a bit dreary? And we'll have to add dozens of charms to keep it dry, it will take loads of magic...
Slytherin:Super. Secret. Lair.
Hufflepuff:Fine! Fine, we'll spend bloody hours drying out some rooms under the lake, Merlin. Rowena, what about you?
Ravenclaw:Tower.
Hufflepuff:But...all the stairs, the isolation from the other houses...
Ravenclaw:Exactly. They'll focus better if they're miles away from everything else. Also, anything he can build, I can build better.
Hufflepuff:Seriously? You're going to compete over towers?
Gryffindor:GOING DOWN ROWENA!
Slytherin:Underground is better.
Hufflepuff:For fuck's sake, I give up. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the kitchens.

I’m literally my own best friend like I have inside jokes with myself and sometimes I’ll think something funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am

(Source: dallasharry)